ahh, life. i dont know. this is another contemplative post >: (

sometimes, life kicks you in the ass. you fall into the gutter and it laughs. then it kicks you in your face, leaving a shoe imprint and a nasty taste of rotting leaves and longkang water.

sometimes, life lifts you up into 7th heaven. you win the lottery, a babe/hunk confesses her love for you, and your boss promotes you/you get a 4.0 gpa.

it's funny.

or maybe not.

at times i get so pent up, so frustrated, so confused.

i know i'm so lucky to be on this earth. to exist, even. what gives me this right? no idea. why am i born in singapore with an uncorrupted government, instead of a 3rd world country? why is my life so much better than theirs? why do i have a chance to receive a good education?

hah.

what diffrentiates me from beggars in 3rd world countries? or those young kids forced into prostitution? or those impoverished people who have to constantly worry about their next meal?

i was born in a good family. and i'm lucky, and grateful for that.

but sometimes, my teenager-ness kicks in and i wallow in my selfmisery and pity. i think about really weird stuff, my self esteem plummets, i over analyze stuff, i remember loads of unhappy things. i can't help it. depression sinks in, and even though i KNOW i'm lucky, i just can't face the world for a while. lol.

yes, it sounds cliched. and i retreat into this weird zone where all that exists is my troubles and my computer and i start feeling numb.

and then sometimes i start ignoring people, really sorry about that. i dao smses and i dao msn conversations and when ppl come in real life i just pretend to be sleeping ><

escapism, much?

sigh. hopefully all this will change when i get out of that dumb teenager hormonal imbalance kinda thing.

>: (

but oh well.
at least...
at least i'm not dead?
<3

ahh, life. i dont know. this is another contemplative post >: (

sometimes, life kicks you in the ass. you fall into the gutter and it laughs. then it kicks you in your face, leaving a shoe imprint and a nasty taste of rotting leaves and longkang water.

sometimes, life lifts you up into 7th heaven. you win the lottery, a babe/hunk confesses her love for you, and your boss promotes you/you get a 4.0 gpa.

it's funny.

or maybe not.

at times i get so pent up, so frustrated, so confused.

i know i'm so lucky to be on this earth. to exist, even. what gives me this right? no idea. why am i born in singapore with an uncorrupted government, instead of a 3rd world country? why is my life so much better than theirs? why do i have a chance to receive a good education?

hah.

what diffrentiates me from beggars in 3rd world countries? or those young kids forced into prostitution? or those impoverished people who have to constantly worry about their next meal?

i was born in a good family. and i'm lucky, and grateful for that.

but sometimes, my teenager-ness kicks in and i wallow in my selfmisery and pity. i think about really weird stuff, my self esteem plummets, i over analyze stuff, i remember loads of unhappy things. i can't help it. depression sinks in, and even though i KNOW i'm lucky, i just can't face the world for a while. lol.

yes, it sounds cliched. and i retreat into this weird zone where all that exists is my troubles and my computer and i start feeling numb.

and then sometimes i start ignoring people, really sorry about that. i dao smses and i dao msn conversations and when ppl come in real life i just pretend to be sleeping ><

escapism, much?

sigh. hopefully all this will change when i get out of that dumb teenager hormonal imbalance kinda thing.

>: (

but oh well.
at least...
at least i'm not dead?
<3