shitzz i'm feeling damn emo and sad.

i don't know what's happening to me. was this long due, or is it just me being over-sensitive?

today life seems rather meaningless. all my goals, all my aims- they seem so damn far away. i know what i want to do with my life, but there's just so much restricting me. for starters, having to complete about 8 years more of education that i know isn't pointless but right now seems pretty darn pointless.

for now, i want a happy family life.

i want my parents to have more time for me. i want my father to be like the father in a book i read, where this little girl asked her friend what was the worst thing her father did to her. the girl thought and thought and thought for very long, and finally said that when she was very young, she dashed across the road and her father shouted at her. then she cried and her father cried too and hugged her.

i know that there are many other children not as fortunate as me in this world, but i'm sick of counting my blessings and i just want to be selfish. i want my parents to wake me up in the morning. i want my dad to drive me around, or at least drive me home from school once in a while. i want both my parents to attend the meet the parents session. i want them to stay home on weekends, and not come back so late on weekdays.

i know i have to be strong for them, especially my dad. he works so hard just to earn money so that we can have a comfortable life. but i'd rather not buy new clothes, or have less allowance if it means he can spend more time with me. everytime my father has to stay in the office overnight, i just have to be strong and tell him it's alright, i'll be fine, to tell him not to worry and take care of himself. but i don't want to. he always says he's stuck in a shithole and things will get better, but it never does. i'm so tired of this. although i want to be a good daughter, i want to tell him to take bloody control of his life. he never does it.

i'm closer to my dad then my mum :x

but all i can do is to cry after he's gone.

shitzz i'm feeling damn emo and sad.

i don't know what's happening to me. was this long due, or is it just me being over-sensitive?

today life seems rather meaningless. all my goals, all my aims- they seem so damn far away. i know what i want to do with my life, but there's just so much restricting me. for starters, having to complete about 8 years more of education that i know isn't pointless but right now seems pretty darn pointless.

for now, i want a happy family life.

i want my parents to have more time for me. i want my father to be like the father in a book i read, where this little girl asked her friend what was the worst thing her father did to her. the girl thought and thought and thought for very long, and finally said that when she was very young, she dashed across the road and her father shouted at her. then she cried and her father cried too and hugged her.

i know that there are many other children not as fortunate as me in this world, but i'm sick of counting my blessings and i just want to be selfish. i want my parents to wake me up in the morning. i want my dad to drive me around, or at least drive me home from school once in a while. i want both my parents to attend the meet the parents session. i want them to stay home on weekends, and not come back so late on weekdays.

i know i have to be strong for them, especially my dad. he works so hard just to earn money so that we can have a comfortable life. but i'd rather not buy new clothes, or have less allowance if it means he can spend more time with me. everytime my father has to stay in the office overnight, i just have to be strong and tell him it's alright, i'll be fine, to tell him not to worry and take care of himself. but i don't want to. he always says he's stuck in a shithole and things will get better, but it never does. i'm so tired of this. although i want to be a good daughter, i want to tell him to take bloody control of his life. he never does it.

i'm closer to my dad then my mum :x

but all i can do is to cry after he's gone.